You might hear some seemingly-confident people saying things like “I don’t care what other people think!”
If you struggle with self-confidence or suffer from low self-esteem yourself, maybe when you hear and see such things you feel bad for wanting to be liked by others.
But I want to assure you that there is nothing wrong with wanting people to like you!
We humans are social creatures. We’re meant to function in communities, supporting each other, and validation through being like is part of that.
No, there’s no sin in wanting the validation of others.
The only time it becomes negative is if you let it affect who you are in such a way that it makes it hard for you to be happy.
It may seem hard to fathom, but you can learn to stop worrying about what others think so you can be satisfied and successful in life, your way.
Here are five ways to do just that.
1- Know Why You Care What People Think
The first thing you need to understand is that it’s normal to be concerned about what others think of you.
It’s the worrying and changing who you are without honest consideration that’s the problem.
If you care what someone says because it’s true and you want to change because it will make you a better person and happy, then it’s perfectly acceptable to embark on implementing that change.
But, if it’s just to keep up with the jones, jealousy, or some sort of competition, you may need to dig deeper.
So step #1 is to consider why it is that you care.
Is it for self-improvement or betterment of your life?
Or is it to live up to some superficial standards, or in response to something that isn’t even “you”?
2- Decide If It Matters What They Think
The next thing to consider is whether what someone else’s opinion of you even matters at the end of the day.
If the other party doesn’t like something you do or an opinion you value, what is the worse that will happen?
It is likely not all that bad in the end, and you will move on from it.
Another question to ask yourself is, “Does it really matter?” “Will it matter in 100 years?” Does it really matter if your friend likes your dress if it makes you happy?
If it doesn’t change anything serious or important, then you are using your time inefficiently worrying about it.
Instead, focus on what truly matters so that you can take your mind off the unnecessary.
Check out these positive affirmations to stop worrying what people think!
3- Realize You Can’t Please Everyone
This is truly important to understand. Your life’s purpose is not to impress others or even please others.
Sure, when you have a business, you want to provide value and solutions to your audience, but ultimately you need to do it in a way that makes you happy, or it won’t work.
Focusing on others too much is a sure way to fail because you will never be able to live up to everyone’s expectations.
Because, you see, every single person is different and has different things they prioritize and value.
People have different tastes and desires. So let go of the idea that it’s possible for everyone to think highly of you in the first place.
Focus on what makes YOU feel good!
4- Realize Most People Aren’t Paying Attention
A major consideration that you must understand right away is that most people are paying NO attention.
This sounds pretty bad, I know, but it’s actually a good thing!
If you suffer from social anxiety and worrying too much about what others think of you, it’s good news that they’re thinking, well, nothing.
Most people are not paying attention in the first place because they too, like you, are spending their time thinking about themselves more than others.
Just think that most people you worry about making an impression on are also probably busy trying to make an impression of their own.
That should make it feel a little easier to just be yourself!
5- Learn to Love Yourself
Finally, spend some time learning who you are and accepting everything about yourself, no matter what.
Learn to love the things that make you awkward, weird, or different.
Adopt an attitude of “so what?”
Because believe this… It does not matter what other people think if you love yourself and are satisfied with your decisions at the end of each day.
How To Work On Self-Love
There are plenty of activities you can do to be successful at improving self-love.
Meditation, engaging in new hobbies and reading self-help books on the topic are all great ways to start!
I highly recommend you grab yourself a copy of The Self-Love Workbook.
Out of all the self-help books I’ve tried, it’s the most effective to get you from point A to Z as long as you’re consistent with your efforts.
At the end of the day, if your care about what others think of you is truly affecting your life negatively, it can be a good idea to seek the advice of a therapist.
Therapists can help explain why your thoughts are not helpful and provide exercises to help work through them.
Sometimes this anxiety you are feeling can be another underlining issue you may not have realized you had.
Don’t be afraid to seek help while you look within yourself to move on and leave the worries of others at bay.
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