How Do I Stop Romanticizing Alcohol?

Early sobriety is tricky. On one hand, you feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. You no longer deal with hangovers, embarrassing moments, or broken promises. And your health is even improving You’re losing weight, exercising more and getting better sleep too!

But let’s be honest though. Sometimes it’s not so fun. Sometimes you feel down, out, and yes… bored.

When you very first quit drinking the hardship and difficulty you experienced during your drinking days are emblazoned in your memory.

You have a new lease on life and can conquer the world. But as the weeks and months pass by, the dark parts slip away, and you sometimes see the old days through rose-colored glasses. You start to romanticize alcohol.

One of the best and worst things about early sobriety is that your thoughts and feelings are so dynamic.

They’re constantly changing.

You’ll gleefully soar through the pink cloud of early sobriety, then come crashing down. This is totally normal and to be expected when you make such a sweeping life change.

The problem starts when those pink bubbles burst, memories of your worst hangovers have long faded away, and you begin to romanticize the good ole’ days.

So, what do you do when that happens?

How Do You Stop Romanticizing Alcohol?

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1- You and alcohol just got divorced

Depending on how alcohol dependent you are, you may romanticize alcohol because it’s how you spent the vast majority of your free time.

For example, if you’re used to going out in your back yard, gazing at the stars while downing a few beers and you’ve been doing that every night for years, you probably can’t see your way out.

The only solution is to accept that you’re going to have to change and grow. You can’t expect everything to be exactly the same as it once was. It’s not ever going to be exactly the same.

Depending on how long you’ve been addicted, removing alcohol from your life can be just as life-altering as a major romantic breakup or divorce.

If you’ve lived with your spouse for 10 years, mingled finances, shared special memories, built routines together – then they move out. You don’t expect your life to be exactly the same, do you?

You’ll have to adjust how the bills get paid, your daily routine might change, you wouldn’t frequent the same restaurants you used to go to on dates, holiday plans change. You practically have to adjust your entire life to function as a single person. You might have to figure out who you are and what you like to do in your new life, right?

Removing alcohol from your life is literally no different. It’s a HUGE break up. It’s a life-altering divorce.

You have to start all over from scratch and rebuild a new life without a toxic other half. View it this way and accept the change! Look forward to shedding that dead weight and creating NEW memories, rituals and ways of living. It’s the start of a new life that can be even more fulfilling without alcohol.

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2- Play the tape to the end

You already know how this will end. That’s how you got here in the first place. It’s so easy to remember the good parts of our old lives. The bad is more fleeting. But you must never forget.

You may find it helpful to write down the bad parts of your drinking binges. How perhaps you vomited on multiple occasions, don’t remember huge chunks of time, lost things, sustained foolish injuries, had to be carried around, or maybe even got into trouble.

If you were to make a list of all the bad things that come with drinking, how many items could you check off?

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3- Be your own best friend

Finally, imagine that it’s not you in question. Imagine the person you are making the decision for is a close family member or friend who you love dearly.

What if you’ve seen this person go through hell with alcohol over the past several years, and you know how bad it is for them? You know how horribly it has affected their life, how much they’ve wanted to stop, and how much better they look, feel and behave since quitting.

If this loved one came to you and said, “but I miss alcohol… it’s so fun and relaxing and I just want to have a glass of wine with dinner!” How would you react?

Would you recommend that they go back down that dark, winding road to their demise? Or would you encourage them to stay the course?

Be your own best friend. Take your own advice.

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It Will Take Time

Everyone’s journey is different, and no two experiences are exactly alike. But romanticizing alcohol is pretty common and won’t go away overnight. Maybe never. It just depends.

Accepting it as a part of the recovery process is key to coping. It’s just part of the deal. If you expect it and anticipate it, it’s a little easier to handle.

You also have to remember that alcohol cravings – be they physical or mental – are fleeting. Given enough time they ALWAYS go away.

No matter what you think of yourself today, right now, in this moment you are stronger than the drink. You always have been, and always will be. You just have to believe it for yourself.