If you’re a little shy or on the more quiet, reserved side you may be wondering how to stand up for yourself and get more of what you want out of life.
The very first thing you need to do if you want to be more assertive in your life is to understand what being assertive is and what it isn’t.
Being assertive does not mean that you are aggressive.
You don’t have to be rude to be assertive. To be more assertive simply means that you stand up for yourself, speak up at the time that it’s needed, and respect the rights of others.
In this post, I’ll share 8 tips for you to learn how to be more assertive when you are shy.
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9 Ways To Be More Assertive When You’re Shy
1- Gather As Much Information As You Can
First and foremost, it’s crucial to learn as much as you can about the process of being assertive.
This blog post is a great place to start, but if you’re really serious about breaking out of your shell, standing up for yourself, and getting everything you deserve out of life, I highly recommend checking out this audiobook on the topic.
It gets high ratings on Amazon for a reason — it’s got tons of unique tips and strategies that you can use right away to fast-track improvement in your life.
Get your copy today and listen while cooking, running errands or anything really.
That way the content and lessons will have a higher chance of working!
2- Prepare and Practice Being Assertive
Whenever you want to be better at something, the best thing you can do is prepare and practice.
You can practice by doing assertive things in a small way, such as practicing saying no.
But you can also use visualization to practice so that when you find yourself in specific situations, you can fall back on the way you visualized it.
3- Find a Few Seconds of Courage
You don’t really need to be brave for very long to speak up for yourself.
You simply need a few seconds of courage to stand up and say what you wanted to say calmly, clearly, and directly.
When the time comes to be assertive, take a deep breath, and go all in!
4- Choose Your Communication Channel Wisely
When you have something to say that is important to you think about your audience. What is the best way for them to receive the information from you?
Is it best heard in person or best in a letter or an email?
How about a text?
It’s important to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it before doing it.
5- Acting Confident Will Help You Be More Assertive
Your granny likely told you to “fake it until you make it” and there is a lot of goodness and truth in that advice.
However, don’t think that you’re being dishonest when you act confident, even if you don’t fully feel it right away.
Most people aren’t really going to know you’re nervous.
Just speak up anyway.
The more you do it, the more it’ll feel natural.
6- Speak Slowly and Remember to Breathe
When you do finally speak up at the right time, take a deep breath, and say what you need to say slowly and clearly.
Speaking fast might make you trip over your words and cause miscommunication.
7- Make Eye Contact with People
A lot of people have issues with eye contact, but they are completely honest people.
Even if you have an issue with it, understand that most people in the USA, at least find it off-putting if you don’t make eye contact.
But remember you don’t have to make eye contact all the time, just part of the time.
It’s not a staring contest.
8- Know That Saying No is Okay
Learning to say no is part of being assertive.
If you’re a people pleaser, it’s easy to get into the habit of always saying yes and being that quiet person that everyone counts on.
Try saying no to some of the things you don’t want to do or really don’t have time to do as practice.
9- Learn to Make “I” Statements
When you speak, since it’s not an academic paper, use “I” statements.
I think, and I feel are the ways you can express yourself to others in a way that makes them hear you.
Because what you think, and feel is important.
Practice Makes Permanent With Being Assertive
If your issue is genuinely shyness, or about being an introvert, practicing will help you become more assertive.
However, if you think you have deeper issues such as social anxiety you may want to speak to a professional to help you move past it.
Hiring a counselor or a life coach can help you break through if you’re having issues getting there.
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Related Personal Growth Ideas:
- 10 Tips To Improve Your Social Life, Even If You’re An Introvert
- 9 Ways To Be More Likable (Without Losing Yourself)
- 5 Super-Simple Ways To Improve Your Self-Esteem